dont rock the boat

Ok here goes...As of lately, I haven't been really happy with things in my life when it comes to men. I'm kind of seeing a guy. We get along great. He's well educated (dual degree in biology/chemistry), works hard with two jobs, and is going to grad school. He also has two cute kids who he take really good care of. You are like whats the problem, right. Well, he's younger and really focusing on those three thing right now. So, a real commitment is not in is plans at the moment. He wants to get finished with more school which includes med school before he starts to really think about something serious. I mean I really can't say much since I'm still in school and living at home with my folks which puts me 2hrs away. We talked about it and have come to an understanding. We are still close, but I had to cut out the sex part. I know that sucks right!! But I had to, I couldn't keep doing that and not end up getting my feelings hurt. However, that's not the reason I'm writing this note. I said all that to get to this. I was talking with my best friend about a month ago and was telling her how unhappy I was. Like I know I need to be single right now because I really need to focus on school, but I hate it. I've always been that way and she knows how I am. I Kind of told her about my friend and some stuff that has kind of gone on over the past few years (but thats a whole nother story). Needless to say it kind of shocked her and she said something to me that I knew all along. She told me I need to just slow my roll, take this time and renew my relationship with God. All my wanting a man and having that good life wasn't going to come together until I started putting Him first again. It was stuff I had been thinking about for a while. So I got down on my knees that night and started praying about it again. That's also when I decied a little celibacy was in order (the other reason to cut the sex from my relationship). Now around the same time, maybe a week later, I recieved an email from a friend going through a similar situation. What a coinki dink! She was asking us for advice on what she should do. Well, a guy friend of ours sent us some information that just put me over the top. Some scripture, dealing with what a man and womans role was when it came to relationships. Basically it is the man who should find a good woman not the other way around. I know some of you are like that is so back in the day, but hey if you read it, it makes sense. Anyway I was like wow! Stuff is happening back to back.Now about a week after that I ended up going to a revival at my aunts church. The first night was about trusting in the Lord. The preacher said something that stood out like a neon sign. A lot of people believe in God but not many people really trust Him. I was like dang, I am one of those people. He was saying that God doesn't just want you to believe in Him, He wants you to trust Him. When you trust Him thats when your prayers get answered. You have to trust that He can do what you are asking for and give Him the time to do it.The next night it was get in the boat. A lot of people want to be half in, have their legs hanging off the sides and stuff. But the thing is we have to get in the boat with God. Decide that we are going to take that ride with Him no matter what we gotta go through and trust in Him that He will lead us through. The last night was stay focused. That's when we backslide, when we loose that focus. And its ok if you take your eyes off a little but the point is to get back to that goal. So in those three days I realized that I wasn't trusting Him, my legs were hanging out the boat and still touching part of the dock, and I was so not focused (well I had a focus but it wasn't Godly).Oh my goodness! All within a matter of weeks I'm getting messages. Tell me God ain't working. If you got a problem go to Him. I give my testimony right here and now. I'm not saying I got a man yet, but I do have some comfort in knowing that He is there and He is working on me and my situation. I just gotta trust Him and stay focused and of course put my feet in and don't rock the boat.